Practice Doesn't Always Make Perfect - Thankfully!

Several years ago, a famous professional athlete was reported to be having conflict with his coach, specifically over his repeated absence from team practices.  When asked about it his reply was, “…. We're sitting in here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we're talking about practice, not a game, … Not the game, but we're talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that?” Many laughed at the absurdity of his perspective. At first glance, his defense seemed arrogant, like he was above his teammates and did not need to practice in order to grow as an athlete.

While I have joined in the laughter over the audacity of his attitude toward practice, I wonder if we similarly disdain the notion of practice when it comes to growing in grace in our walk with Christ and in our relationships with others? Practice may not be the first word that comes to our minds, but consider a couple of verses from Scripture: 

As the Apostle Paul brings his instruction in the Epistle to the Philippians to a conclusion he ties all he’s said and done together by instructing, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (4:9)

The author of Hebrews exhorts his audience if they want to grow, “for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” (5:13-14)

Some of us love the repetitive rhythm of the practice needed to grow in a new skill, like learning a foreign language or a musical instrument, especially if we have natural ability. But many of us still love practice when the task is difficult, not just when we make an occasional mistake, but when we fail repeatedly, taking months or perhaps even years to see even the slightest improvement.   Many of us give up at this point.

What does it mean to grow through practice in these areas of faith?

If it takes the kind of practice to learn a subject like history – then I’m energized.  I love learning new information about significant eras and people from the past. I recently watched a video series on Netflix about the Vietnam War.  It was fascinating to me. So now I’m going back through it again and taking notes on each episode.  Because I enjoy learning, it’s not a chore for me to repeatedly pause the episode, and record key facts about this era.  It takes me hours to get through a single episode, but I don’t mind (and yes, it drives my wife crazy!). I hope I can find fellow nerds who would be willing to discuss it with me, just for the sake of learning.  

My parents offered me the privilege of taking piano lessons for three straight years when I was an adolescent.  That’s how I word it now. Back then I would have told you they forced me to stay glued to the bench for hour after excruciating hour.  It was tedious and lonely agony to try to practice something I hated.  I spent hours by myself, repeating the same pieces over and over, grinding, fumbling, failing, and then repeat.

But is that the kind of practice God is talking about in the previous verses?  Not at all!   If I’m practicing a skill like a golf or tennis swing, I measure it by how well I perform when I compete against others.  If I’m mastering learning to cook, I mainly gauge success by how well others like what I’ve prepared.  In my two personal examples, both forms of practice really involve only one person – me.  And only one source of power – my sustained drive.  It’s a solitary endeavor that requires grit, determination, sustained self-effort, and is gauged a success based on external results.

Take for example an encounter between a dating couple. After spending an enjoyable Saturday together, she initiates a conversation with him about something that is bothering her about their relationship.   Her carefully thought through words were not angry or accusing, but the timing caught him off guard.  She was thinking, “we’re having a good day.  I’ve been wanting to talk about this issue for a couple of weeks and we seem to be in a rhythm of harmony today. It seems if I bring it up now, he’ll receive it well.”  However, he is thinking, “Why would she come out of nowhere with no warning and abruptly confront me when we’re having such a fantastic day?!” He quickly replies, “I don’t really want to talk about this right now, let’s talk about it another time.” 

Now if we assess this from a “success” standpoint in their interaction, we would say it’s not so good.  But later that night the man prays about their encounter.  He senses the Holy Spirit gently revealing to him that his words were too abrupt and self-focused. As he reflects further, he’s drawn to confess to God that he was selfishly more determined to sustain an enjoyable day, rather than humbling himself to hear his girlfriend’s concerns.  Years ago, he would have felt guilt and condemnation from such communion with the Holy Spirit.  But through the practice of reminding himself that “there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus,” (Rom 8:1) the conviction from the Spirit feels more like a good friend guiding him to walk in the reconciliation he’s received in his relationship with Christ. Just as noted earlier in the passages of Scripture, as he’s practicing what he’s learned  he’s experiencing that the God of peace is with him, sensing and enjoying God’s forgiveness,  and being guided by the Holy Spirit Who is helping him to discern between “good” (leading him to put aside his selfish preferences and initiate reconciliation with his girlfriend) and “evil” (stewing is resentment that she ruined his day, and punishing her by withdrawing from her for a few days).

So, the next day he drops by her apartment unannounced and says to his girlfriend, “I know I was abrupt with you yesterday and I’m ready to talk about it now if you want to.”  But to his surprise, this time his girlfriend resists and refuses his attempt to make repair.  She communicates to him she is hurt and frustrated because his words lack an apology as well as an acknowledgement that he shut her down the day before without even listening to her. He is surprised by her resistance and leaves in frustration, angry that she was closed off to his change of heart.

She prays to the Lord that evening, pouring her thoughts and emotions out to the Lord.  She similarly begins sensing the presence of the Holy Spirit in her reflection.  God affirms to her that her boyfriend’s words were incomplete.  But as she continues on, she experiences a sense of hope because the Holy Spirit reminds her it was new for him to initiate a conversation after an argument.   

Let’s pause now to assess the results of their “practice.”  If we gauge it by their external efforts and the quality of their interaction with each other, it’s not great. They’ve both experienced hurt, frustration, and responded by shutting the other one out.  As to solving things, the issue is still unresolved after two conversations.