We come to some crazy conclusions about what is written in the Bible. This is especially true with subjects that make us uncomfortable.  What we often come to believe is "biblical" about issues like sin, sex, love or even alcohol are often far from what can be gleaned by a good reading of the biblical text.  Anger is one topic I consistently find mishandled when it comes to biblical teaching.  It seems most people assume that you shouldn't be angry, that anger is bad and that when you are angry it is important to get rid of it as quickly as possible.  To support such reasoning they say, "You shouldn't let the sun go down on your anger."   This thinking is normally based on these versus in Ephesians, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil," (4:26-27, NLT).  It is like if anger shows up we better check the time of sunset and start a race to get through it before sundown.  At face value the passage seems to indicate that racing through your anger is a good idea but when understood in context those versus mean the exact opposite of racing through your anger.  The phrase, "Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry," is a paraphrase of a verse in the Psalms, "Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent," (Psalm 4:4, NLT).  In Ephesians it seems to indicate you shouldn't go to bed angry while in Psalms it seems to indicate you should contemplate your anger overnight.  The statements seem contradictory.  However, knowing the verse in Psalms brings a fuller meaning to the one in Ephesians. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger," does not mean race through your anger it means don't let your anger go unnoticed or uncontemplated.  It is a reminder that your anger can be destructive so you are not to bury it or just act it out.  You are to process through it and hold onto what is good and let go what isn't.    

Prior to his discussion on anger in Ephesians Paul writes three chapters of beautiful theology communicating what the believer has received by being in Christ. These words are written to a young church to help them grow into a wiser, older church.  The first 3 chapters serve as theological grounding for what he is going to encourage them to walk in the rest of the epistle.  He starts off chapter 4 saying, "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God," (v.1, NLT).  In the remaining three chapters he describes ways believers can move toward a more mature expression of their faith.  Right before he addresses anger Paul suggests one of the actions the believers can step into is "speaking the truth in love."  He writes, "So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body," (v.25, NLT).  Given that Paul encourages them to step out of indifference right before he deals with anger he seems to suggest that if we stop pretending we are nonchalant about everything we will have to contend with some anger.  He is telling the Ephesians that to mature in their expression of love they have to step out of indifference and pretense and actually have difficult conversations that advance the truth. 

Paul is right.  We should be concerned about those we love enough to risk entering into their lives and assisting toward something better.  Instead of shutting down when we are angry because we are afraid of it or just letting it out without any thought we should prayerfully process through our anger and see if it can become strength to help us fight for (not at or against) someone.  Unprocessed anger either becomes indifference toward others (hardness) or fury we act out on them.  Instead, it can become strength that helps us to passionately offer words and actions for others that advances the truth.  One of the marks of a mature believer is someone who puts off falsehood and speaks the truth in love.  Some things matter in this world and it means being willing to have difficult conversations that are motivated by love. 

Anger can give a "foothold to the devil" because it can be redemptive or destructive.  This is why Paul encourages the believers in Ephesus to process through their anger.  Uncontemplated anger becomes something evil uses to divide us from others.  We live in a fallen world where we regularly want satisfaction beyond our grasp.  We have deep longings that can't be fully satisfied here on earth and often the fulfillment of those longings are in the hands of those we can’t control.  

Not only can sinful anger be a demand that we get what we need now it can also be something that flares up when someone tries to take, get in the way of, or stop whatever is bringing us comfort.  I often get easily angry when someone interrupts me when I am enjoying a moment of rest such as reading or watching a movie.  Out of my own insecurity and idolatry I want to control and protect whatever brings me comfort.  Too often I want heaven now and the regular reminders I am not there can easily prompt me to anger that is human and destructive.  Sinful anger attempts to control this world fueled by a demand that we experience heaven now. 

When righteous anger is displayed it may wound another but the wounding is to bring forth redemption.  The maturing believer envisions and longs for all the beauty of heaven while at the same time having the patience to wait for it to unfold.  Good anger warns others or invites them to a beauty they cannot yet comprehend.  When this type of anger is displayed it is not a demand that the other person complies because righteous anger recognizes God is in control. The person speaking "truth in love," does so with a humble awareness that humans can be "mediators" between others and God but all good action moving a person forward grows out of their cooperation with God.  We can help each other see and respond to God better but He does the changing.  In essence the speaker is just opening the lines of communication between the listener and God and he lets them take it from there.  

What you do with your anger will be one strong indicator of how loving you will become in all your relationships.  Instead of racing through your anger or shutting down in it, why don't you try to be angry and not sin.  To do this means you have to prayerfully bring your anger before the Lord (think about it overnight) looking for him to reveal control and selfishness so you can turn away from it while asking him to embolden surrender and love so you can step into it.  Believers "belong to each other" and need each other and anger is an important emotion that can bring forth loving action.